When a girl gets friendzoned

Disclaimer: Although the article below is written in the first person, it has no personal correspondence with the author. She speaks on behalf of girls in general, and any kind of similarity with her own life is purely coincidental.


You know how there are some girls who get all the attention at college, every other guy wants to date them, and every other girl wants to be like them? I am not among those girls, but I am one of the other girls. It’s not that I don’t like myself. I may not be pretty in the true sense of the word, but I am often smiled at. My mother says I have a glow on my face and a twinkle in my eye that cheers people up. I am not a trendsetter like them, but I have my own choice of wardrobe that makes me comfortable. On the whole, I am quite likeable, and I do have many friends. But I don’t agree when my guy friends say that girls have it easy everywhere, because I clearly don’t.

There is a common misconception that boys get friendzoned and girls have their way all the time. Many of my guy friends have asked out many girls at college, not necessarily the ‘attention’ girls, but also ones like me. They have failed multiple times. Some of them have given up, some of them are still trying. Most of them have been labelled as creepy stalkers already. They come to me and complain how easy it might be to be a girl – some day some guy will come up to me and ask me for a coffee, and I have full rights to refuse him or agree to go out with him. I wish too that it happens, and that I get to exercise this right of mine. But it never does.

I have had my share of crushes. I have tried getting close to few guys in the past. It’s not that they were way too hot for me. I wouldn’t fall for such guys. I know better than that. I try where there is at least a little flicker of hope. I began by getting friendly, asking for their numbers as any guy would do if interested in a girl. Then I texted them once in a while, even lame jokes, if that helped to remind them that I still existed on this planet. Then at some point I started to get desperate and texted more often, which brought back to me more blue ticks wrapped up with silence. They had started ignoring me. Sometimes they would even get the hint and bluntly say that I was a good friend, but not really girlfriend material.

But unlike my guy friends who would still pursue their crushes by waiting for them at the corner with their bikes, or dropping a chocolate on their desks on Valentine’s Day, for me the silent blue ticks have always been the dead-end. Because I am a girl. I am not in a position to walk up to him again after getting rejected and still ask why he finds me unworthy. I cannot pass flirty glances at him from time to time, and think that it’s my birthright. I cannot ask his friends to set me up with him somehow, and keep liking and commenting on his Facebook posts even if he doesn’t reciprocate. I cannot jump out of the corner all of a sudden when he is walking on the street, block his path and say that I will die if he doesn’t love me back. I cannot even get so angry with him thinking how dare he reject me, and throw acid on his face. It simply doesn’t work that way. Because I am a girl. And I have limitations. When a guy doesn’t show interest, I move on.

So you see, being a girl who is friendzoned is not a pleasant thing, because you have to learn to live with that. On the other hand, there are certain ‘rights’ that you can enjoy if you are a guy. Because if you follow a girl to her house or even hold her hand forcefully, it is completely okay. That is what guys do, right? That is also what the movies teach us, with their glittery song sequences too. So it must be totally normal.

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14 thoughts on “When a girl gets friendzoned

  1. Many youths (boy & girl) go through this in their lives. With time, one realizes what is needed and who all matter. One should spend time in self-evolution, make the most of the talent and grow that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The article makes you think. It is hard both ways I am sure. I personally have not experienced it but I did had a best male friend who was desperately in love with me for 8 years and when he finally told me I was shocked because I had never expected it. I had to cut down the friendship because he couldn’t understand that he was my best friend and nothing more.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it is hard both ways, but people still think girls don’t face this problem so much. Thanks for your comment and sharing your story πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Very nice read. πŸ™‚ What the movies and the society has normal I see, is completely wrong. No person, irrespective of their gender, should find it okay to stalk, eve-tease, force or do the other things you’ve mentioned. It’s okay to like someone and ask them out, but if it’s a no, people should let it go. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Guys always think we got it easy and this never happens to us. Thank you for showing that this works both ways. And truly, if a guy shows no interest, moving on is the best option. Sooo many other fish in the sea

    Liked by 1 person

  5. On point about the society (including us) treating the abnormal ways and methods some people use to approach their crush as normal and acceptable! Also, it is true that people tend to think the other gender has got it easier but the truth is that every person has got their own set of problems and there is no point of making a comparison! πŸ™‚
    Nice Article, Thank You!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m a med student and I’ve had my fair share of hearbreaks. But hope is always around the corner, like a weak star trying to break free from the dark curtains that is the clouds. You are in your warm cocoon just bidding your time to break free! Keep your head up, because there is beauty inside everyone. Someone will see it in you someday and it will feel amazing. We cannot see our own selves, since even a mirror image is not real. But everyone else in this world can see the real us (in this case, the REAL you), and there will be plenty of people brave enough to journey those rough sands to gets to your heart. Keep on smiling! Think POSITIVE! Read some of my posts in which I talk about being pisitive during hard times of life! It’ll help you!

    http://thewakeupcallwithkevin.wordpress.com

    Like

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